Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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