May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
