We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
