I puked a lego.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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