Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
