She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
