Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you traded sex for a burrito?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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