im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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