So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
