I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
