Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
