dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
