You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
