garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
