Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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