That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want nice things and good sex
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
