I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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