just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
