omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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