Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
