the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
