Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
