This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize