You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
