He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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