I am in a vortex of obligation.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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