do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
