You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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