how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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