My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
