I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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