He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize