hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
