I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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