ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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