Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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