Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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