Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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