why didn't you poke me back
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
