Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
