M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
