Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
