watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pooping to opera.
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