it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
