apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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