you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
