Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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