I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
