I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
