remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
