just come out here and I will go home with you...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
