I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize