Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
