I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize