Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
