can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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