i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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