Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
