But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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