you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
