I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize