Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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