I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize